As a gay man myself who was trying to come to terms with his own sexuality in Thatcher’s Britain during the 1980s, where a lack of positive LGBT+ role models, the fear of AIDS and a hateful piece of legislation known as Section 28 left deep wounds that for many remain unhealed to this day, I was intrigued to see the much-hyped My Son’s a Queer (But what can you do?) which plays this week at Derby Theatre as part of a national tour. Having been born in the 1990s, the queer writer and star of the show Rob Madge is a whole generation younger than I am, a generation that I assumed had it much easier than I did. Yet Madge’s retelling of their childhood experience reminds us how intolerance and ignorance around gender diversity and sexuality continue to threaten young hearts and minds.

From the outset, Madge acknowledges that My Son’s a Queer is an unapologetic self-indulgence, where anecdote and original songs co-written with Pippa Cleary are performed against a back-drop of family home videos starring the ambitious youth. From video footage we learn that Madge’s love of Disney films went beyond the usual watching and re-watching of classics such as Beauty and the Beast and The Little Mermaid, culminating in a full-on, homegrown Disney parade at the age of 12. Lead characters such as Mickey Mouse and Mary Poppins are played by young Rob, with Dad acting as cameraman and the odd supporting character. Recollecting their own coming of age experiences, the remainder of the show unfolds as a guide to parents in how best to support any precociously talented child wishing to put on their own Disney spectacle. 

Madge is an accomplished storyteller and singer with abundant energy and infectious enthusiasm. Their ability to move with ease from hilarity to poignant reflection quickly captures the hearts of the audience, yet behind the camp and sparkle lies a much deeper message. In a world where even now boys are frequently expected to be pirates and girls to be princesses, Madge encourages us to consider how we respond to those youngsters who want to buck the trend and be something else, or both, or neither. When young Rob is told by a teacher that their penchant for dressing up is likely to be the cause of their inability to make friends, we are starkly reminded how off the cuff remarks can profoundly impact upon a young person’s confidence and sense of self-worth.

What resonates most loudly however is the vital role a loving, supportive and non-judgemental family played in nurturing Madge’s incredible talent. In buying his young son a Beast costume instead of Belle’s yellow dress, Madge’s Dad may have hoped to encourage his son to conform to a gender stereotype. When it became clear that this wasn’t going to happen however, the family adjusted to the child’s wishes, with the sewing talents of one grandmother eventually bringing about the longed-for iconic dress for the young diva.

My Son’s a Queer is a joyful, heartwarming story with a message of love and hope that brings the audience to its feet. Most importantly it shows parents that the greatest gift they can give to their children is the freedom to develop without prejudice or coercion into their most beautiful, authentic selves.